So today's work consisted of trying to write an essay for an artist residency. Since it has been years since I have written any papers or essays, I am finding this excruciatingly difficult. (Plus, its like an artist's statement, which I also find ridiculously painful.) Why? Because I want to put something real out there that actually sounds like me and the average person can understand. Nothing irritates me more than pretentious statements that leaving you asking "HUH?" But, since it also needs to appease arty people who may or may not buy my work or give me a show or residency, it also needs to be polished. So I have literally spent a good part of my day writing and re-writing and I am still not happy with it.
That doubt about my essay is when I start to tell myself, "why bother, chances are you won't get it anyway". That is hard to ignore! But, if I listened to that voice, my work would not be in a gallery in Taos, New Mexico right now. You never know until you put yourself out there. So, good thing this thing isn't due for another month and half. Maybe I'll get it together by then (?)!
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